There’s More Than One Elephant
The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and I noticed a post titled Grief: the Elephant in the Room. It was a site for bereaved parents that included a picture of a happy social gathering with a broken heart in the centre and one person with their head hanging down. I could certainly relate to this as I have been in social gatherings where it felt like I could not or should not discuss my loss or talk about my pain. And I know the loneliness of this, I really do.
However, this thought popped into my head as I considered this post: my elephant isn't the only one in the room. I recall a social gathering I took part in recently and I know within that circle of people there were several individuals coping with and experiencing loss. I also recognize that there may have been those whose hardships I know nothing about. As a bereaved parent, I know the daily ache of my missing son. I know the depth of my need to talk about him and never let him be forgotten. I am acutely aware of the heartache I hold back when I am in social settings. But, I am cognizant of the fact that many others are holding their own heartache back as well.
At some point, despite our own sorrow, we have to look outside of ourselves and see the other elephants. In fact, I would go so far as to say that we cannot begin to heal in any meaningful way until we do. Until we see the pain of others as equally valid to our own and as deserving of our love and compassion, we will not be able to see around the backside of our own elephant.
In the accounts of Christ's crucifixion, the four gospels relate several statements Jesus made while he hung on the cross. As he was fulfilling his purpose for our salvation, Jesus expressed his own agony. We read in Matthew 27: 46, "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?")" Jesus also recognized his mother's anguish and ensured that she would be looked after. John 19: 26, 27 states, "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, 'Woman, here is your son.' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on this disciple took her into his home." There were also two others hanging on crosses beside him and one mocked him while the other acknowledged his sovereignty. Jesus promised him a place in heaven; Luke 23: 43, "Jesus answered him, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.' " And at the end, as his life was leaving him, Jesus made a request. In Luke 23: 34, "Jesus prayed, "father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."...
Jesus was able to look outwards and truly see the hurt of those around him and reach out to provide for their needs. He was able to acknowledge his own agony and lift it up to the only place such a lament should go, directly to the Father. Jesus saw and embraced all of the elephants, even his own.
