November 1st. Misty and damp. As I look out the window the word melancholy comes to mind; a word the reflects how I feel about this month.
Mikael died in November. It's been four years and yet I still enter this month with despondence. Every parent who has lost a child has a month they would like to do without. A month that is tougher than the rest - the concrete, intrusive reminder of our heartbreaking loss. Not that our loss isn't on our minds all other times of the year, but that anniversary month simply hits harder.
As they say, "it is what it is!"
In light of this, I thought I'd share with you how I manage this anniversary month. Or rather, how God helps me to do so.
First of all, I accept this month for what it is. I acknowledge and embrace the melancholy. I generally choose to stay close to home and spend time with the Lord walking, having a fire, doing small tasks, reading, writing and remembering. I allow God's comfort to surround me, in the same way the mist outside my window blankets the shoreline.
I also intentionally plan joyful moments and activities. This might be time spent with my son and his family (always adds joy to my heart), time with close friends or a special activity I enjoy. I look for small moments in my day that are beautiful and store them in my heart.
As the month moves on, decorating for winter and the Christmas season brings a sense of peace and wonder to my soul. I love Christmas, as did Mikael, so adorning the house with everything magically Christmas is quite soothing for me.
Most importantly, I spend time in God's Word every day. I stay close to my Saviour.
Each of us has a different anniversary month to find our way through. And we are each unique and special, with specific needs and responses. What works for me in November, may or may not work for you. Except one thing - no matter who we are, staying close to Jesus is a necessity.
Just a little note of announcement: Free Advent Devotional for Grieving Hearts available soon!
