I've been a Christian since I was a very young girl, so for quite a few years! Throughout that time I've experienced God's faithfulness in a multitude of ways. I've learned from his Word, grown in my understanding of his character, and come to appreciate the comfort and guidance he offers us as we navigate life.
And then the unthinkable happens.
Sometimes we find ourselves asking questions we never thought we would ask. Our beliefs are tested in ways we couldn't have foreseen. And sometimes we discover that knowing about God's faithfulness and actually trusting Him in the midst of devastating circumstances are two very different things.
Losing Mikael brought me face to face with this reality.
I knew God was my refuge and strength and that his Word offered comfort and hope. But how was I to put those truths into practice when my heart was so completely broken? How was I going to carry the pain of losing Mikael while continuing to trust God with my life?
I didn't have all the answers then, and I still don't.
What I do have is an understanding of my need to continue growing in my relationship with God; the necessity to keep seeking Him. I need to spend time in his Word, bring my concerns to him in prayer, and be willing to learn the lessons he places before me.
I need to be intentional about my faith.
It's easy to talk about gratitude when life is going well. But what happens when we experience suffering? Can I find reasons to be grateful without pretending that I'm grateful for the circumstances themselves? Can I bring my confusion and sorrow to God and open my heart to allow him to determine the direction of my life? Can I trust Him with the questions that have no easy answers?
These are some of the things I'm still learning.
I'm discovering that spiritual growth is not a destination we reach and then triumphantly plant our flag! It's an ongoing process of learning, practicing, stumbling, getting back up and beginning again. There's always more for me to learn about God, and there's always more room for Him to work in my heart.
This is why I wrote Mending Hearts and Anchored Souls. I wished to share the spiritual practices that are helping me continue to walk with God through grief. I wanted to write honestly about what I'm learning, not as someone who has mastered these practices, but as someone who recognizes how much I need them.
My prayer is that readers will find encouragement in these pages and discover practical ways to deepen their own relationship with God, even when life is difficult.
If you're grieving, you may have found yourself wrestling with some of these same questions. Maybe you're trying to understand how your faith fits into a life that has been forever changed. Perhaps you're looking for a way to keep moving forward without feeling that you have to leave your grief behind.
I want you to know that you're not alone in the struggle to understand, to trust, and to keep growing.
We don't need to have every question answered before we can continue seeking God. We don't have to be perfect in our faith. We simply need to keep coming to him, honestly and intentionally, trusting in his grace as we take the next step.
I'm still learning, and I expect I will be for the rest of my life.
If you'd like to explore these spiritual practices with me, I invite you to read Mending Hearts and Anchored Souls. It's my hope that this book will offer you encouragement as you continue learning what it means to walk with God while carrying grief.
You can find your copy of Mending Hearts and Anchored Souls here:
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1738250237
Thank you for allowing me to share what I'm learning. May we continue to grow in God's grace, and run the race in his strength and not our own.
