Dealing with Loneliness
Loneliness and grief certainly seem to go hand and hand. In your grieving journey, there will be occasions when you find yourself feeling very much alone. It can happen in a crowded setting as easily as in solitary moments. The experience of being in a social situation realizing that others present have not experienced or understood your grief easily leads to feelings of isolation. The inability to articulate the depth of your grief to others can further intensify feelings of loneliness. This loneliness, a natural by-product of grief can quickly lead to despair unless we learn to manage it. And sometimes, we may need to learn to accept and embrace it as part of our personal growth.
This resource provides scripture and guidance on living with the loneliness that is a normal part of our grief journey.
One of the most profound examples of loneliness is found in Matthew 26: 36-46. Jesus suffered intense loneliness in the garden of Gethsemane where he went with his disciples to pray shortly before his arrest. He shared with his disciples that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow - to the point of death. And yet, they still fell asleep while he lay on the ground pouring his heart out to his Father. The disciples fell asleep three times, leaving Jesus to face his sorrow alone.
As we experience the loneliness of grief, we can know that Jesus can truly empathize, having endured the same loneliness as he prepared to give his life for us.
Connecting with others who are coping with the same grief can be a positive step in alleviating feelings of loneliness. This can be in person or online. Personally, I find in-person support to be the most helpful. If you are a bereaved parent, reach out to other bereaved parents. If you have lost your spouse, find others who have experienced similar loss. The understanding you will gain from others who are walking the same path is invaluable. If you are looking for online or in-person support groups, seek those that provide positive steps of growth in addition to shared experiences of grief.
Here are some scriptures that you may find helpful in times of loneliness:
Deuteronomy 31: 6
Psalm 139
Psalm 23: 4
Matthew 28: 20
Romans 8: 38, 39
Use periods of loneliness to connect with your inner thoughts and memories of your loved one. Take the time to sit in those memories and to allow yourself to fully feel the emotions you need to. Find the small comforts around you - a walk, coffee by the fire, a favourite song, the sound of the birds. Allow this time to bring you into God's presence and the knowledge of his love for you.
Exercise your creativity and look for ways to express your loneliness outwardly. Write a poem, journal, listen to music, create your own music, construct a piece of art, collage, garden, build something. Whatever you produce, can be kept private or shared - it's totally up to you.