Returning to Church
Attending church can be very difficult after the loss of a loved one. There may be triggers you are not yet able to cope with. Perhaps you have stopped attending for a period of time and are now considering the need to return to collective worship. Having a plan in place for your return to church can help you have a more positive experience. Here are a few ideas to help you plan.
Consider a visit or phone call with your pastor or trusted church leader to talk about your concerns and relay your needs. Perhaps it’s better if certain songs or verses aren’t used that day.
Who would you like to attend with you? Do you want to go alone or with family or friends?
How long will you stay on your first visit? You don’t have to stay for the entire service. You may wish to increase the time there in increments. If you do stay for the entire service, do you want to leave a few minutes before it ends? Decide what will work for you.
Where will you sit? Returning to church doesn’t mean you have to sit in your regular spot. If you need to sit in the back then do so.
Where are the exits and which are closest to where you will be sitting.
If you need a short break during the service to gather yourself, where can go? (bathroom, prayer room, etc.)
Have an escape plan. If you are triggered during the service and need to leave, have a plan. Who will be with you? Will you return home, to a friend’s, go for a walk, etc.
Where will you park? If you are driving, you want to make sure that you are not blocked in, in case you need to leave.
What time do you want to arrive? Most churches have greeters. How do you feel about that right now? Maybe you would rather arrive a bit later so you can come in without notice.
Participate as much or as little as you wish. For example, you don’t have to sing out loud or do any of the congregational readings.
Does your church do a meet and greet during the service? (I know mine does: get up and shake hands with church members around you). If it does, how do you want to handle this? Arrive after? Stay in your seat? Greet a few people?
Plan your response ahead of time to the “how are you doing?” question.